Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center Programs

Unicorn therapy at our unicorn addiction treatment centerFounded in 532 BC, Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center offers a wide variety of services to those looking for a magical recovery. The center’s unlicensed elves provide you with the best care and make sure you have an enchanting experience on your quest to recovery. They realize that every program needs to be tailored to the individual and that one client’s road to recovery will not be the same as another’s.

At Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center, our services include magical addiction treatment programs and magical addiction therapy programs. You will need both on your quest to recovery!

Magical Addiction Treatment Programs

These programs are the beginning of your quest. While they are typically hard to start, Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center offers a magical experience that sets us apart from other addiction treatment centers. With a little bit of magic and the help of our elves, we help you begin your addiction-free life.

Hokey Pokey Treatment Program

The Hokey Pokey treatment program is the most popular among our clients. This residential option has also proven to be our most effective program. You simply have to put your whole self into this treatment facility where you can then shake your addiction all about. When you do the Hokie Pokie treatment program, you will turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.

Glitter Detox

Our world-renowned glitter detox program is a highly effective and painless drug and alcohol detox. In this program, our nurse elves inject our clients with small particles of glitter. These shiny particles work their way through the bloodstream while attaching to foreign substances in the body to help them work their way out. While this detox comes with little to no withdrawal symptoms, our elves do watch for signs of disco ball fever.

Disco ball fever can come on suddenly and clients may experience symptoms such as:

  • Seeing rainbows in certain light
  • Strong urges to listen to the Bee Gees
  • Spontaneous boogie-ing
  • Sweating a variety of colors of glitter
  • Glitter present in every nook and cranny of your body

Magical Addiction Therapy Programs

At the Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center, we believe addiction therapy programs are important to do after treatment so you can readily continue on your quest for a better life. Therapy helps you avoid temptation by evil substances in the future. (Note: Glitter Detox is something you do not want to do twice!)

Unicorn-Assisted Therapy

This unique unicorn-assisted therapy program reveres the majesty and usefulness of the unicorn. Clients of the Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center will be assigned a unicorn and will learn how to ride, groom, and care for them. Unicorns possess a naturally relaxing aura that calms our clients and leaves them feeling whimsical after each session. Some patients, however, may experience a complete loss of short-term and long-term memory as a result of this therapy. Needless to say, the bond formed between unicorn and client is unlike any other.

Magic Lesson Therapy

This program is another favorite among our clients. At the Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center, our unlicensed fairies will teach you a variety of magic techniques of how to combat substance cravings and lower stress. These sessions are one on one and promote critical thinking and concentration. The skills learned here will be beneficial throughout the rest of your life! Get ready because our magicians are about to tell their tricks!

Begin Your Journey at the Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center

We’re ecstatic to help you or your loved one take the first step on the road to recovery and bring you to the finish line. If you’re just as excited as we are to create a better and addiction-free life for yourself, then join us.

For more information about Unicorn Addiction Treatment Center, please call 555-UNICORN today! We are located just outside Narnia (Near the Starbucks)! Take the reins on your quest for a magical recovery!